For all that religion played in ancient Egyptian life, there was one place it had no role at all: the Egyptian marriage. There wasn’t even a civil ceremony. Rather, marriage simply took place when two young people decided to move in together (usually the bride would move in with her husband) and start a common household. But that doesn’t mean that marriage was not taken seriously. From the paintings we have found, letters that were left from grieved widowers to their deceased mates, and from statues from all periods of ancient Egyptian history, we see that marriage and a close family played an integral role in ancient Egypt. Love and Marriage
A bride would be young, about 14 or 15 years old. Her husband could be anywhere from 17 to 20—or older if he was divorced or a widower. The ancient Egyptians were encouraged to marry young, considering that the life span at this time was relatively short.
"Take a wife while you are young,
that she may make a son for you
while you are youthful…" (Instructions of Ani)
Many marriages were arranged with parental consent needed, as they have been in all societies, especially among the upper classes. But the abundance of love poetry between young people suggests that many couples did fall in love and choose each other as mates. Women played an important role in arranging a marriage. A suitor sometimes used a female go-between to approach the girl’s mother, not her father.Interestingly, one of the most affectionate titles one could call their love was "brother" or "sister" in ancient Egypt. This had nothing to do with sibling relations, but led many archaeologists and scholars to wrongly assume that most ancient Egyptians married their siblings. Actually, this usually occurred only among royalty, and was not a common occurrence otherwise. So we find part of a love poem written by a young ancient Egyptian woman which tells us that, "My brother torments my heart with his voice, he makes sickness take hold of me; he is neighbor to my mother’s house, and I cannot get to him!"
Museums are filled with statues and paintings showing husbands and wives with their arms around each other’s waists, holding hands or offering each other flowers or food. Love and affection were indeed a part of the Egyptian marriage, and our Egyptian bride could expect to be loved and respected by her husband.The Marriage Settlement
It wasn’t necessary, but most marriages had a contract drawn up between the parties. The poorer classes probably did not do this because they probably had few possessions to consider and also the cost of a scribe would have been prohibitive.
Marriage settlements were drawn up between a woman’s father and her prospective husband, although many times the woman herself was part of the contract. The sole purpose of the contract was to establish the rights of both parties to maintenance and possessions during the marriage and after divorce if it should occur, very similar to today’s prenuptial agreements. What is really fascinating is the equality women held
with men in their rights to own, manage and receive property.If the marriage ended in divorce, the rights of the wife were equally protected. Generally, she was entitled to support from her husband, especially if she was rejected by him through no fault of her own. The amount might equal one third of the settlement or even more. If the bride ended up committing adultery (which was extremely frowned upon for both men and women), she still had certain rights to maintenance from her former husband. Monogamy, except for some of the higher classes and royalty, seemed to be the rule for most ancient Egyptian couples.
Here’s a standard marriage contract that was found among the numerous records left by the ancient Egyptians. It contained:
- The date (the year of the reign of the ruling monarch)
- The contractors (future husband and wife)
- The names of both sets of parents
- Husband’s profession (wife’s rarely mentioned)
- The scribe who drew up the contract
- The names of the witnesses